Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Politics - Gone to the Dogs! Me! At the RNC!

Did you see me? I was in an RNC video.

I thought Rove was pulling my chain when he said he was going to show a video of me at the RNC.

(Though, as someone reminded, me, I wonder what Al Jazeera thought of this. I hope it didn't remind them why they hate America. First air-headed sluts stump for Bush, then a black Scottish Terrier. If there is some animosity, let me remind them that the infidel is Rove).

But back to my video.

I'm laying on my favorite White House couch. Card cozies up to me.

“Barney, we want to put you on the campaign trail,” Card says. “ We want you to go state by state, house by house. We need every vote, and you’re the one to get it.”

Of course, I'm taking it all in when Rove says,"Get a good night sleep. And remember Barney. Let’s win. Let’s win.”

Then I start dreaming. There's Fifi, John Kerry's dog. She's at a podium and we're debating. There's McClellan at another podium, asking questions.

“First question. What is your plan on the economy, Fifi?”

“Raise taxes on everyone!!!”

“Barney, same question for you.”

"Make the tax cuts permanent!!!

Then I go to the kitchen. Karen Hughes is there, and she cracks me an egg. (Yummy!)

“It’s a tough world out there,” she tells me. “ You need some raw meat, a lot of protein. …the most important instructions are stay on message.”

It just goes to show. Be careful what you ask for.